DEW DROPS [EPISODE 5, 6 AND 7]

                                          Episode 5

   I have never really understood, as why Mother Nature violates the norms of SI unit of the TIME.  It makes weeks sound like seconds, wherein SI unit clearly defines seconds and weeks as different. It was a month since I had joined the college and it appeared as if I was only a week into the college. Many things had changed. From first bench on the first day, I had shifted to the last bench. My hair style had changed. I had grown taller by 2 cms. My friend circle had swelled into a group of seven.

   

   Yeah there were seven of them in our group. Deepak, a prankster. Kanth, the most stylish and handsome of all. Bharath, a computer geek, an UNETHICAL computer hacker. Shivanand, the son of the Deputy comissioner of Bangalore. Aditya, a motorcyle enthusiast who toyed with his bike. He could pull out even the most dangerous and exciting moto acts which pumped in gallons of adrenaline in us. Sairam, the guy with iron nerves. One with a great physique, not to forget to mention his packed abs. And last but not the least was the great ‘Anish’, who had nothing really to boast about.

  The most relieving fact of all was that except the first day, prof Joel never really sounded dangerous. To him I was still THOMAS. And Thomas, ANISH. The truth was still behind the curtains. But it’s said that “truth” and “nature's call” can’t be kept under wraps for too long. It has to come out one or the other day. Or in the case of “latter”, the same day.

 

 Our internal test timetables were out. It was due the next week.“god.!! So early..!! “Exclaimed kanth. “My ass is on fire.!!” he added. “Look at this guy. He is overreacting” said deepak. “Hey come on. All these days we stuck our butt everywhere. But never bothered to flip the pages of our books. And deepak it seems you are confident of pulling out a miracle. But definitely I am not” said kanth with much fuss. We all nodded our heads in kanth's favor. Studying for internals looked a mammoth task. Tension slowly started to make an upward surge. Our faces went pale. But suddenly it struck me. I put up a cool expression.

 “I never care for internal marks. But since you all are craving for good marks I have thought of a plan” I said, trying to act cool. “And what is it!! “Everyone but one exclaimed. “What else it would be. Copying!! The age old technique, which most of the students employ in this situation”. This Deepak had stolen my words. I wanted to earn kudos by telling the same but now he made it sound very sheepish. “Oh man!!! Then you only come up with some plan to get us through it “I said. I later felt that the words were too much dry.

“What’s wrong in using the age old technique? We will go for the same thing” Deepak said, scratching his nose. This pissed me off. This guy had is such a mad fellow. But I chose to stay silent. None responded. Deepak continued. “But don’t ever think that copying will be a cake walk. The invigilators are pretty much strict. Once caught, you will straight land in HOD’s office. And it’s said that our HOD is very fond of getting students rusticated.  So we have to really think of a thick plan to copy in the internals”.

Now this disappointed all of us. We swear on our butt, none of us were okay with the idea of copying at the cost of getting rusticated. We all decided that studying will be the best thing to do. Deepak however looked determined to copy.

Finally the day had come. All of us were busy studying. To be more precise almost all of them were busy mugging things. Deepak hadn’t come yet. And it stuck to us only, when he entered the class. Ten minutes late, he was. Internals had begun. I hadn’t bothered to study a single character from the text book. My eyes were still searching for the question, to which I knew the answer.  I concluded that its utter foolishness to go fishing in desert. You can never find a fish there. Come on man..!! There were only five questions carrying 5 marks each. And I don’t know a single word to scratch.

I tried peeping into the answer book of the girl who was sitting in front of me.  All I could see was her back. She looked more like banyan tree. She was so broad that I couldn’t see single inch of her booklet. I now realized the negative effects of obesity. I cursed her for not following a strict diet routine. I pledged to join any organization which was into fighting obesity.

I checked my watch. Thirty more minutes. And still I hadn’t started. I glanced through the room. Everyone was busy writing. Deepak!! This guy was happily writing. He’s copying, I thought.  I felt like crying. I would end up with zero in this subject. None to help me. My eyes turned watery. I slowly turned towards the window. There, it caught my sight..!! Through my tears I could see some miniature writings on the wall near the window. I moved quickly towards the window. Surprised I was. It was wall less and encyclopedia more. It had key notes on almost every subject of our first semester, written on It.!! It looked old. May be a very smart guy from previous years had written it to help him in copying. But now it had turned into a blessing for me.

Five minutes to go. Now I was in the last question. Few more elaborated lines based on the hints from wall, and I would end up with 24-25, I was sure. “You get up..!! How dare you copy!! *****”, voice of Professor Joel suddenly made its way to the class. It echoed for at least 10 seconds. For the first time I felt like peeing in my trousers. I was literally shaking. I was still looking at the wall. I didn’t dare to turn towards him. He was near the door I guess. “You din hear me..!! Get up you *******” he shouted again. A long series of questions made their way into my minds. “Why the hell didn’t I study?”, “and why the hell did I copy”, “why the hell did this stupid professor come to our room”, why the hell did he catch me”, “why the he…” and he interrupted my questionnaire. “I said up on your feet. And give me your paper”, this time he sounded more terrifying. Shivering vibrantly I got up slowly, with my booklet in hand. I turned towards him.

“You..!! You are in such a hurry to leave is it..!! Sit for five more minutes. All undisciplined idiots” he scolded me. I was now confused. He has gone nuts, I thought. And I sat. “You want me to come there and kick you out of your place??” he shouted again. Confused again, I looked at him. And now I knew he was shouting to someone else.  At Deepak..! Oh he had caught him red handed. Now I didn’t know how to react, whether to laugh or to feel sorry.  I chose the former option and started laughing silently.

Deepak had written the key notes on the thigh of his cream colored trousers. Lady luck however had some other plans and prof Joel somehow saw him copying.  He took him to Principal. And we were left shocked.

We were in the rock garden now. All of us had done great work in the internal. Every one of us was confident of getting at least 24/25 in the paper. Still we were upset. We were waiting for Deepak. He hadn’t come out of Princi’s room yet. What if he rusticates him..!! We feared.

We could see him now, heading slowly towards us. He was dragging his feet. His looks didn’t look encouraging. He must have been rusticated.

“What happened??” I asked. Slowly he spread his lips. He smiled and gave out a joyous yell. “yay..!! I am safe. Rather Princi is all impressed with me”. We felt puzzled. He then explained. In Princi’s room he argued that he hadn’t copied. And that the answers he had written on the trousers were for last minute revision, which he forgot to erase in a hurry. He further argued that he can prove innocence by answering to any kind of question from the whole syllabus. Princi then asked questions from nooks and corners of the internal syllabus. He answered to all of them rather impressively. And he said that 

Princi was in all praises for him. When we heard the entire story we felt a fire in our asses. Jealous we were all now.

“If you were able to answer to all the questions which Princi asked, then why did you copy in the internal?? Asshole, you are lying aren’t you??” Sairam said. Quite rational we felt. “If you are so doubtful that I am lying about what had happened in his cabin, you are free to ask me questions like Princi did” he felt irritated. “Fine then why did you copy?” all of us jumped in chorus. “Fine, then listen” and he corrected his tone. “It is really tough to speak to head of the institution. And it’s even more difficult to impress him. I somehow wanted to impress him and get closer to him. So I deliberately wrote stuffs on my pant and gave an impression to joel that I was copying. I knew he would take me to Princi. And everything went as per the plan.” He winked.

“That means, err.. Hmmm you had learnt all things?” we asked in a tone of surprise. “Off course I had. While coming to the college, on the way in the bus I gave a glance to all stuffs. No more quizzing now. Let me treat you all on this “.

We were all open mouthed, surprised at his intellectual smartness as well the intensity of his prank. He is genius of sort, I concluded. “Coming, are you??” he asked. “yesssss” we jumped in chorus and followed him.

                                    Episode 6

The three days of internal tests witnessed our high profile copying and innovative pranks of Deepak. ‘We had rocked the internal papers’ will be an apt way to describe it.

It was 8.45 am to be precise. I was on my way to class, in fact running.  We had Engineering Mechanics class at 8.30.I was late. I was catching my breath when from the distance I saw that many were standing outside the class, almost all of them. Sir hasn’t come yet, was the ultimate conclusion.

Holding my chest, adjusting my hair, controlling my breath I walked slowly towards the class. I’d almost stepped into the class when I heard a loud roar followed by laughter.”Ooooooohhhhhoooooo” it sounded something similar. I checked if my low waist jean has slipped down while speeding to college, thereby exposing my purple colored trunks. Thank god!! They were intact. What else could be the reason I thought.

Again they rose into laughter. Oh..!! I could now recognize their voices. I stepped into the class. Shivanand, Sairam and all other in the circle were having a good time. Curious I grew and I waved my hand. “Hey guys  ...Was sup!! Having a nice blast...Huh??” I asked. “Let him die out of curiosity. Let us not tell him. My god I can’t hold the laughter in my tummy. Oomph...” and Bharath continued to laugh. He however sounded dramatic. “Fine, then don’t” I was no less dramatic. “Come on..!! How can we not tell you the hottest topic in the town…!! Hey Listen someone is in Love. Did you hear that!! Someone in Love!!” said Shivanand. Now things like these always fascinate me.

“And who’s that someone??” I asked. Except Deepak all were looking cheerful. It must be Deepak I thought. Deepak and Love!! Yuck, I felt. He in love with someone was very hard and pretty awkward to imagine. It’s not that he is not good looking. But given his mischief it’s highly unlikely that he will ever fall in love, or the other way round.

“Who else man!! It’s our Kanth. Finally the most handsome, the most eligible BACHELOR has finally found his lady love. He. he…he...” laughed Aditya. His laugh made me doubt if he had chronic disorders. “Kanth!!” I exclaimed. That was delightful news indeed. Deepak however looked silent. “And who’s that Lucky one??” I asked. 

“It’s Nita”, whispered Kanth half blushingly.

“Oh that sounds really great. But have you proposed her?? I asked. This is the part which I like the most in every love story. “No!! That’s the problem. Don’t know what to do and how to proceed” he replied. Deepak still looked silent. “Why to worry, when you have a Love Guru at your service” I winked. Before anyone could ask who love guru was I grew wise and narrated my exploits as love guru. I could very well see that they were all impressed and amazed by hearing it. In my school days I’d helped many guys who were in love.

“So you mean I can definitely win her over if I take your advice!! You are great! It feels proud to be your friend. Proud to be a friend of Love Guru.” and Kanth hugged me. I felt suffocated. His body odor was not as pleasant as his looks.  

“Come on!! Don’t praise me so much. After all, I am your friend first and love guru next. All that you have to do is to follow my advice and she will fall for you.” With this filmy dialogue I somehow escaped from his stinking arms. A stream of fresh air rushed in and I felt comfortable. “But who’s Nita. I haven’t seen her??” I asked him. “You don’t know her.!! Whole college knows about her and you say that you don’t know her. 

She is one of the most talked about in the campus. Wait, she is outside the class. I will show you”. Just then the lecturer entered the class. Since the bench was overflowing with 7 of us, I and Deepak chose to move to back bench.

The bald headed lecturer was busy with his lecture, and I was busy planning things for Kanth and his lady love. “Show me who that girl is” I asked Deepak. “She is still outside. May be she didn’t realize that sir has come. Hey but her bag is still in the class. Look there, in the third bench” said Deepak. Very next moment we saw the red eyes of lecturer staring at us. “Out. You two” he ordered. And we duly followed his words.

“Look, she is the one” he pointed to the girl with blue salwar. She was in the corridor talking to a fair guy with a pair of glasses. Yeah I thought, I had seen this girl couple of times may be with the same guy. I didn’t know her name then. She isn’t that beautiful, I felt. She must be having melanin deficiency I thought. She looked very fair. “This Kanth must be a fool. She is already engaged with that guy with glasses, I guess. She is seen most of the times with him. And this Kanth is wasting his time after her”. It was the first time that I saw Deepak showing some kind of concern to any of his friends.

Yeah they may be moving very closely, but I observed that the pair lacked the chemistry which suggested their relationship. “I will make things happen “saying this I smiled. 

                                     Episode 7

Sairam was in all fuss. He eyes were red. He was walking to and fro with his fists clenched. We all chose to stay silent. After ten minute of long silence I opted to break the silence.

“What happened?” I asked, placing my arms around his shoulder. I could feel the rippling muscles on his shoulder and arms. He is a beefcake I thought. “That stupid moron Joel, what does he think of himself!!!” he said. None of us replied. He continued, “He assumes that he has digested the A-Z of the programming”.

“What happened?? What did he do?” Bharath asked. “Actually I had designed a new algorithm to sort the numbers. I knew that it was very inefficient and stupid. But at least I had designed something which was never designed before. And it gives correct result. I presented the algorithm before Joel. And he laughed at it. Not satisfied with it he made fun of me and my algorithm in front of faculty and many students”. I could sense his anguish.

“I knew that algorithm was very inefficient and stupid. But at least I had designed something which was never designed before. And it gives correct result. Come on, I am still in first year!! He could have encouraged me for my attempt. Instead of that he embarrassed me. See this is why the country has failed in producing quality engineers” he said, not settling to cool down.

It was stupid enough to hear. Country has a great pool of talented engineers who are attracting global attention. Being a citizen of India and an engineering student in particular, he should have been aware of at least this fact. There are zillions of professors in India, who unlike Prof Joel drive and inspire students to step into innovation.

“But you didn’t tell us anything about your sorting algorithm. What’s the logic that you have implemented?” Bharath asked. The techno geek always jumped at things like this. Sairam obliged and started to explain the algorithm.

His algorithm to sort the numbers in increasing order was something like this. Consider that we are given n numbers to arrange in ascending order. First check if 0 is present in that list. If it is present then write 0 in a new second list. Then proceed to 1. Again check for its presence and if present then write it in the second list. Then proceed to 2… continue this process till you get up n numbers in the second list…!! That means even if I am given with only two numbers 100 and 2 to arrange in ascending order. I have to first start with 0, then 1, then 2 and continue till 100!!

When he had finished explaining his algorithm, I almost felt like vomiting. His algorithm was not stupid, it was worst. Every one tried hard to suppress their laughter. This fuelled his anger even more.

“You people are no different from Prof Joel. First let me take my revenge against him then I will settle your scores. You people deserve loud bangs on your butts” said Sairam, This definitely frightened us. It’s always unsafe to be in the receiving end of a muscular guy’s anger.

“Hey come on. We have the liberty to make fun of you. We are your closest buddies, man” said Shivanand. What a touching sentence!! This eased his anger on us. “So think of something to avenge my humiliation” said Sairam.

We thought hard for ten minutes. Many ideas came out. Scratching the car, dropping ink on his shirt, bursting the tires, smashing his car window etc. but they were rejected for being either outdated or risky. We wanted to think of something that is very easy and would bring humiliation to Prof Joel.

Suddenly the idea stuck me. I explained it to everyone. It was first such occasion where these guys were amused by my idea. After carrying out the planned thing we went back to our homes and rooms.

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“Good morning sir” everyone rose to their feet. Head of the department Dr. Srinivas Rao and Prof Joel had entered the class. Both were in a wrong mood. We knew that it was the result of what we had done yesterday.

“Today in morning I received a complaint from Prof Joel. Some miscreants have littered his cabin wall with nasty writings. They have even drawn indecent cartoon of his on his cabin door. You are still students. You should feel ashamed for doing such things. Who will pay for the repaint of the cabin walls and door now?? Such an idiots!! The guilt will be severely punished. Is it the way you behave to your faculty? ”. Joel too joined him and started blasting the whole class. Since morning they were doing the same thing, going to every classroom and blasting the students. Sairam was however happy. He had avenged his embarrassment. And I was equally delighted that my idea had worked well in irritating him.

After the class we passed by his cabin. The walls of the cabin were being repainted. We learnt that he was paying from his pocket for the work. It would have caused him few hundred bucks. We posed a wicked smile at his cabin.

Moments later something stuck Deepak’s mind. He gave a wicked smile and said “You people go home. I have got a plan, so have to stay”. “What’s that??” we asked curiously. His face expression suggested that he is up to something outrageous. “Wait for tomorrow. You will get to know. This is fun” and he winked.

******************************************************************

The next day again H.O.D. and Prof Joel were in our class. “It was only yesterday that Mr.Joel had spent on repainting of his wall and door. Paying from his own pocket”,Dr Srinivas paused. He breathed in gallons of oxygen and sprang to shout “And you have spoilt the thing within a day. Which idiots have littered Prof Joel’s wall again, by writing, ‘sorry sir!! We won’t repeat the same in future’ on his wall??”. My god..!! That was so funny to here. Everyone in the class tried hard controlling their laughter.

We looked at Deepak and winked. He rose his thumbs up. We waited for the gentlemen to leaves. Once they left, we ran out of the class, to the garden and laughed like hell holding our tummy and rolling on floor. This Deepak won’t get better, we thought. 

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  to be continued... [:P]