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Episode 5
“What happened? Why are you so silent?” she asked.
I felt like telling her that I was in love with her.
But from what I had seen, read and watched - I knew one thing for sure about
most girls. If you propose to a girl with whom you are pretty close with, she
would have a standard dialogue to say. ‘I
have always treated you as my friend. A best friend!! Never in my dreams did I imagine
that you would turn into this’. She may follow it up with either a disgusted
look or she may start crying.
But I had also heard about some beautiful real life
accounts and had also watched some really beautiful romantic movies where a
girl would say something like this, ‘It
took you long enough to propose to me. You can never imagine how long I have
been waiting to hear this. Love you too, Idiot’ and the girl follows it up
with either a hug, or a slap filled with love or, very rarely, a kiss. As they
say, girls are difficult to understand and predict.
“Hello..!! What are you thinking of?” she said, putting
a break to my thoughts.
“Nothing!” I said, smiled and continued, “The news
that there is someone on this earth who has fallen for you amazed me”.
“Oh...” she paused , “Breaking news..!! The ugly,
irritating, annoying, mindless, stupid, heartless and unkind lady, Disha, has a
boyfriend. With cameraman Adinath, this is Disha reporting from Bangalore” she
said, posing like a news reporter.
Yes..!!She was right..!! It was breaking news. The
news had broken my heart.
I posed like a cameraman and she laughed. And then
she tousled my hair again.
‘Damn! Don’t
do that. It’s making me crazy’ I felt like telling her.
“So what do you think? How will the meeting go?” she
asked and smiled.
“I have no idea. But why does he want to meet me?” I
asked.
“It’s late. Should I drop you home?” she asked. That
was her sweet way of asking me to f*** off.
“Nah... It’s okay..!! It’s late. You should sleep” I
said. We wished each other good night. I stood watching as she walked towards
her flat.
******************************************************************
The first thing that I did after going to room was to
dash into the bathroom. I badly needed a shower. I wanted to make my head
lighter filled as it was with too many thoughts. I stood under the shower. As
the cold water gushed onto my head I felt calm. With each drop that fell on my
body, my heart felt an ease in emotions.
Now I was able to vent out my emotions. I couldn’t
believe it, but I was crying under the shower like a girl. The more I cried,
the more I felt relaxed. I looked at myself in the mirror. The moisture on the
mirror veiled the reflection. I couldn’t make out if I looked happy now.
When you are in love, nothing comes at ease -neither
love nor the ability to move on. The water stopped and the cold shower therapy
came to a halt. I felt like one of those drug addicts who are deprived of their
usual dose. The next moment the power went off and the bathroom went pitch
black.
I felt like
punching hard on the walls, pulling out the pipe lines, smashing the
switchboard. I wasn’t sure why I was going mad. Was it because I was angry or
because I was sad? But I was sure about one thing, all this madness had
everything to do with Disha’s confession about her boyfriend. I was rising all
smokes, because I was jealous and heart broken.
As per the definition provided by the scholars of
love, a true lover is the one who sees to it that his girl is happy –
irrespective of whether she is with you or not. But it was not the same with
me.
I just hoped that he would keep her unhappy and then
she would break up with him. I know I was not going by the definition of the ‘true
lover’, but I didn’t want a certificate which certifies it. I just wanted
Disha. I felt like crying again. But Bollywood movies claim that it’s only females
who cry under shower. I held back my tears.
For the next one minute I stood under the shower
doing nothing but staring into the darkness. Then I started thinking what kind
of a person her boyfriend may be. When you discover that the girl whom you are
in love with has a boyfriend, you start picturing him to be someone who is the
world’s most horrible personality in all senses- looks wise, character wise and
money wise.
He should be either very tall or very short, I
wished. So that one day Disha would break up with him saying that they didn’t
make a good pair. He should be either bald or should have grey hair. So that he
looks too old for her. He should have dense facial hairs or should have scars
making him look like a crook, so Disha’s parents would straightaway say no to
him. The time was one clock in the night and there were no signs of power and
water. I was still standing under the shower.
I wished that he would slap me the next day and that
I could stay calm and quiet. So that Disha would break up with him straightaway
for being rude and, instead, fall in love with me because I stayed calm and
behaved like a gentleman. He should be an alcoholic who gets sloshed in parties,
which would eventually lead to their break up.
I pictured him to be some terrorist or a foreign
nation’s spy hiding his true identity. I wished to expose his identity and
become a hero in the nation’s eye and Disha’s.
I even pictured him to be a guy who doesn’t know how
to ride a bike. He should not be better than me in any sense.
He should be illiterate and very poor. So that
Disha’s parents would deny him her hand. Or he should be the richest of rich,
so that his parents would make him marry the daughter of some rich business
tycoon. I was drowsy, still standing under the shower thinking about him. I
couldn’t believe it, but yes, I was dreaming about him.
My weird imaginations went on and on.
******************************************************************
Next morning I woke up to find myself on my bed. I
couldn’t remember coming out of the bathroom and lying on the bed. Quickly, I
got myself ready.
It was one such day where I spent almost twenty
minutes on choosing what to wear. I tried on some six shirts, five denims and
finally decided to go with the red Avengers T-shirt and blue denims. I carried
my shades.
I spent
another fifteen minutes dressing my hair. I applied hair gel thrice and washed
them off an equal number of times. Finally I settled on one hair style. After
thinking for five minutes whether to shave or not, I finally decided to shave.
I was possibly the world’s first straight guy who
was spending so much time on his looks for meeting a guy. But I had to make
sure that I looked good in front of him. I checked my wallet and I felt
satisfied with its fat belly.
When I got down I saw Disha at the gate. I had
expected her to dress for the occasion. But she was in her usual attire. I
looked overdressed. I slowed down. I was feeling embarrassed.
“Oye..!!What’s wrong?? Coming to office or going out
for a party?” she asked me. I think she was trying to control her laughter. I
didn’t want her to know that all this dressing had everything to do with the
meeting I was to have with her boyfriend.
“So at what time is Rohan coming?” I asked and sat
behind her. She started her vehicle and it started moving.
“So you are dressed for that, is it?” she asked. I
guess she was trying to look at my expressions in the side mirror. I could
easily see that she was laughing.
“Nope..!! I have a party to attend at seven o clock.
So I was trying to figure out a feasible time for the meeting. That’s all”, I
lied.
“Oh I see..!! He will be coming at five thirty.” she
said.
“Okay” I said.
*******************************************************************
“Oh Adinath..!! Looking great..!! ” said Anish. He
had entered the office lift and behind him entered three more colleagues. Disha
was trying hard to suppress her laughter. But Anish and the other colleagues
were shamelessly laughing. I felt like punching him on the nose. But he was all
muscular, hence I stayed silent. We were on the ground floor and I had to bear
them for nine more floors. I checked my reflection in the mirrored walls of the
lift. Am I looking that weird, I wondered. Disha was still trying to control
her laughter.
“Actually I had gone out to a clinic. Was not
feeling well, but then my manager called me up and asked me to drop in
urgently. So I had to rush to office in the same clothes” I lied.
Disha looked at my back. What on earth was she
checking? I tried to cover my rear. I made a gesture to ask what she was trying
to do.
She whispered in my ears, “Liar Liar..!! Pants on
fire...!” and, again, suppressed her laughter. I got even more embarrassed.
The colleague who was standing next to Disha heard
her and grinned. I felt like commenting on his tobacco stained teeth which
looked out of place for an IT employee, but I restrained myself.
I felt very odd walking through the office. As I
passed by each desk, I felt that the person sitting there was laughing at me.
There are moments in everyone’s life where he or she knows that people are not
laughing at them but still he or she forces oneself into believing so.
The day continued to be a forgettable one for me,
for it was I was feeling uncomfortable throughout the day. I had to interact
with a customer that day and had to discuss the customization that he wanted in
the product. He was a very senior guy from an established firm. The two hour
long one to one meeting with him was more like an ordeal. He looked forty and
was wearing business formals that looked great. I couldn’t figure out which
brand of watch he was wearing, but it looked expensive. I was being cautious
with my glances.
Every two minutes I looked at the reflection of both
of us that was faintly seen on the glass door and convinced myself that I was
not looking out of place in front of him.
By the time I came out of the meeting room, I had
almost forgotten about the meeting with Rohan. Disha was standing outside the
meeting room. She smiled and said, “He is here”. I felt like saying ‘So what am I supposed to do? Ask him to
come and meet me’. But even I wanted to meet him. You will always be
curious to know about the guy whom your crush is in a relationship with.
Because you would want to see how special that person is compared to you.
As I entered the lift I recalled my weird
imaginations about him. I kept my fingers crossed.
************************************************************
“Hi..!! Rohan” he smiled. That’s the last thing I
expected from him. ‘Are you nuts? You
dumbass!!, I have slapped your girlfriend. You are not supposed to smile,
instead you are supposed to take me into task’, I felt like reminding him.
“Hi..!!! Adi”, I smiled back forcefully. I even
extended my hand out. We shook hands.
Nothing about him matched my imagination. He was
handsome, well built. He had nice thick hair and a hairstyle which was in trend.
He was handsomely dressed. Above all he looked wealthy and sounded like a
gentleman. In other words, he appeared flawless, though it may not be the right
word to describe him. I looked at Disha, she was shamelessly staring at and
admiring him. Of course, she had every right to do so, but she could have
extended the same courtesy towards me as well. She was not even looking at me.
I felt jealous.
“Can we have something? Shall we sit in cafeteria?”
he asked.
Shittt..!!! This was something I was supposed to do.
Why on the earth didn’t I think of it before him? He was outscoring me even in the
‘gentleman’ aspect. ‘Dude..!! It’s me who
is supposed to be a gentleman and you are supposed to sound rude. Only then
Disha will breakup with you and I will be able to impress her’ I thought of
making a gentle request.
“Adi..!! You are lost”, Disha yelled. Finally she
spoke. I got a conclusive proof of my existence. Before I could respond Rohan
jumped in, “Oh.. Disha..!! Don’t worry. He is not lost. I found him. Look he is
here” saying so, he held me by my shoulders. Disha laughed and said “Oh my
god..!! You will never stop being funny”. What has happened to Disha, I
wondered. There wasn’t even a gram of humour in it. A person who is in love
feels that even snore of his or her love was musical.
And then she
looked at me and said “Adi..!! You feel that I have the best sense humor of
all, right...! You should listen to Rohan. He cracks awesome jokes”. And she
started laughing again.
‘Oh..
Please…!! When did I say that you have the best sense of humor..!!Can you help
me recall..!! Even if I had said so, were you that dumb to overlook the
sarcasm’ I felt like correcting her. “Oh..!! Yeah..!! That
was a good one Rohan. Disha..!! Now I know where you get your great sense of
humor from” I faked a compliment.
We occupied
the table in front of the ‘Burger Boss’
counter. He went to buy us burgers. “Rohan is a nice guy Adi..!! Just like you”
said Disha. I nodded in false agreement and faked a smile.
“Actually he is the best. I shouldn’t have broken up
with him” she added. Now, what was ‘he is
the best’ supposed to mean? That I am the worst?? And that he is way better
than me?? Or was she was trying to tell me that by mistake she had told me that
he was like me?
“Stop worrying..!! Now everything is fine, right?
And by the way, you both look great together” I said, hiding my jealousy and
disappointment.
I was still not sure why he intended to meet me. On
top of it, he was being nice to me. He was buying us fat, jumbo burgers as
well. I doubted whether all that treatment was something similar to the royal
treatment given to animals in remote villages, before slaying them in front of
a particular goddess.
Before I could ask her again why he intended to meet
me, Rohan came back with two trays of fat burgers. “Here you go” he said and
kept the trays on the table.
We slowly started eating. The conversation slowly
picked up. He was going on and on. Even Disha started narrating her antics that
had landed me in embarrassing situations. I was made a laughing stock.
Rohan even started narrating their love story, which
both of them believed was the most romantic love story ever. Both Disha and
Rohan are from the same place but from different schools and colleges. They met
each other for the first time during a kickboxing competition. That was two
years ago. Both were in their second year of engineering in the city of Chandigarh
but in different colleges.
That day, Disha was taking part in the twenty fifth
match of her life. Till that day Disha had never won a match. Disha’s opponent
happened to be Rohan’s ex-girlfriend. Rohan somehow wanted to show his
ex-girlfriend down. He had gone straight to Disha and wished her all the best.
He even held a huge placard to cheer Disha. For the first time in her life
someone had actually cheered for her during her match.
She went on to win the match. She was delighted and
she believed that Rohan was her lucky charm. Hence she insisted that he should
join her in all her matches. Though she never managed to pull off a win after
that day, she never stopped believing that Rohan was her lucky charm. He used
to turn up for every match of theirs. And they started dating. One day Disha
broke down in the ring after losing the match. That was the day he proposed
her.
“How did he propose?” I asked Disha. I felt that
they wanted me to ask that question. And hence I did.
“Well..!! I was crying in the ring. He came up to the
ring and grabbed a microphone. There were about five hundred spectators. He
proposed by saying something like this”, she paused to mimic Rohan’s tone.
She continued, “What if you lost the match. You have
won my heart. I don’t have a ring with me now to propose to you. But I hope
proposing in the boxing ring will make up for it. Disha, I am in love with you.
Now and forever” she laughed. “That was very romantic” she added and she
blushed. Even Rohan started blushing -shamelessly. ‘Did you kiss?’ I wanted to ask.
“Oh... Yes..!! Yes..!! It’s very romantic. That was
very romantic of you Rohan”, I added. God..!! When will I stop lying to impress
people, I asked myself.
The
conversation continued. I couldn’t manage to pull out one good reason as to why
Disha should break up with him. I could manage to settle upon only one reason-
I loved her.
He was very rich and his Dad was a rich businessman
and owned a restaurant chain in Mumbai. Given that they were very rich, I
wanted to know if his parents were okay with their marriage. That was my last
resort. I hoped that his parents were orthodox and with old mindset.
“Hey Rohan..!! But will your parents be okay with
you two getting married? You know what if they are not okay with love
marriages?” I asked, excitedly. I felt that I sounded a bit negative so added,
“You know if any problem arises I will be there to help you both, on any day”.
Disha looked not interested in answering and was
busying drinking coke. Rohan wiped his mouth with tissue and said “Thanks..!! But
you know what? My parents already know about our relationship. In fact they
want to meet Disha at the earliest”.
I didn’t feel like eating anymore after hearing
that. I gave up all my hopes about her at one go. I was getting terribly
depressed. But every thirty seconds, they were cracking jokes and forcing me to
laugh. I was trying to control my tears, depression and anger.
“You know what..!! I expected you to beat me up
after getting to know that I had slapped Disha. I thought that is why you
wanted to meet me. But you are being nice to me”. Yes..!! He was being nice to
me. No matter how much I was jealous of him and no matter how much I hated him,
I had to admit one thing - he was a gentleman. And Disha was lucky to have him.
But the heart always consoles you by coming up with weird theories. It said ‘She is unlucky..!! Because she is not with
you. You are the right one for her. Don’t give up hope. One day she will be
lucky. And that’s the day when she will be all yours’.
“Well! I shouldn’t say this. But it’s because of
your slap that we are back together. We had broken up because I had slapped her
once for some reason. The day you slapped her, she was very depressed. She was
feeling very lonely.” He looked at Disha. She placed her hand on his. He held
it firmly and smiled. I felt very uncomfortable.
He continued, “And she called me and started crying.
Finally, after a year, she was speaking to me. This was because of you. I felt
I should thank you for helping us come together once again and for keeping
Disha happy all this while. Thank you” and smiled. For the first time Disha
looked at me with gratitude.
I had nothing to say. My eyes were red. One wrong
move of mine and they were together now. If I had not slapped Disha, someday I
could have held her hands like Rohan was holding now. All that I could do was repent
my one wrong move. When I used to see posts on social networking sites which
said ‘Wish LIFE had an undo button’, I
used to smirk and used to refer to it as spam.
But now I was seriously wishing for that ‘UNDO’ button.
That one button which could help me go back in time and correct our mistakes.
But life is neither courteous nor generous. My heart was heavy. Yet, I had to
smile.
-To be
continued……
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